Back to my own space

Well.. Guess what.. I am back to blogging.. Back to what I am.. or what I was.. Am I gonna be back to what I used to be again? to be fully me again.. I have no idea.. I am still in a deep hole.. and I guess this blog is the only place I can rant it all out! haha

As some of you might know.. I am currently in Yellowstone National Park. Its been 2 weeks since I have been out of home..

For the past few days.. Things hasnt been too good between me and my gf.. and so.. I decided to break up with her.. For the sake of our future. In the long run.. It might be a good thing.. But in short term.. it sucks.. I know she is very hurt and sad.. But me.. I feel lost.. Part of me feels gone.. I bet she feels the same.. What should I do. Its the 2nd day of my breakup. And I have cried all the time on the bed while thinking what we had.. How happy we were.. What did we go through.. everything just feels gone in split seconds.. In fact.. Tears is already rolling down.. hahaa.. I feel so stupid guys.. I feel so useless.. but I still love her so much..

Results got out today.. and they were terribly bad. But luckily I get to move on to undergrad and get to keep the scholarship too.. Right now.. I have no idea if I should continue or else.. Life sucks at this time.. Nothing good is happening to me.. everything seems to be falling down on me..

I made lots and lots of mistake during my work today.. I wasnt focused.. I wasnt emotionally ready for work.. I really feel like having a break and sleep through everything.. I hate myself..

To this someone I hurt you so much last time.. I do catch up ur bloggie.. But I am really not sure if I should get back to you.. I really need your accompany right now.. Need somebody to talk through.. U were my blasting machine.. god sakes.. I hope I could talk to you again.. Really hope so..

I have no idea what I should do now.. I am totally lost.. I need help..