I dont get it easy..

Monday.. out of da blue moon.. dad woke me up.. 9am.. i was reluctant.. but i was awake... knowing my frenz are enjoying basketball if im not wrong.. i went to bathroom.. shower din work.. there wasnt any water.. i went back to sleep.. 30mins later.. dad came.. n shouted.. yelled.. machine gunned.. damn it.. i couldnt bathe.. n i didnt bathe.. brushed my teeth n washed my face.. n simply dress up..

had a slice of bread.. n had to folo him to work.. had to wear a fully covered shoe.. i hate it.. i drove to da office.. n i got acc's work.. n it was so damn boring... i hate office work.. i prefer moving around..

1 sumthing.. got home n had lunch.. n i was really reluctant to go again... i told my mum bout it.. how i dislike.. but i knew dad will be forcing.. at last.. i made my stand.. i didnt wanna go.. i wanted to rest.. n go for taekwondo at night.. n besides he doesnt come back early.. time will be very tight.. n dad came feiry.. total cannon blast.. boom..

''dont come and ask me for anything next time, u dont get anything in studies, prepare to go form 6'' tats wad he said... so its a big boom.. u get wad i mean.. he doesnt listen to anybody.. he jus wants things tat he wants.. he doesnt think out of da box.. think how others feel..

so da very afternoon.. i slept whole day.. n night came.. 2 of us nvr talked at all.. we'd nvr want to look at each other..

tats wad happened a year ago with my 2nd bro in my shoes.. dad wont be in any good mood.. n same goes to me..

Yeap..

I guess.. I'll be giving myself space right from now...

I wont be going for any outings.. hopefully.. I can hold on to my own promise..

I wanna be with my own..

give me some time..

I wanna be alone...

Over

JPA interview is OVER.. haha.. certainly.. im alot better.. im glad..

how did i do? im not sure.. i did.. average i guess.. in my group.. 4 engineers.. 1 architect.. engineers have to battle out betwwen each other.. n a gal from main convent.. i would did good.. compared to me.. she can speak well.. well i hope.. i don hope too much..

jus tat 2000 places.. i hope i'll be one in it.. lol..

A me in current self

JPA interview is i tis coming friday.. 3rd of April.. an important day ba..

myself.. i've not been with myself.. thoughts are much more surronding me.. im with my inner self i guess... loneliness i would say.. im not sure wad reason is tat.. i jus felt to be lonely.. alone.. i cant tell u guys da reasons.. well... i guess.. its jus me.. i'd chose not to share to anybody but to myself.. i guess its better to be with myself ba.. none involved.. might be a good thing.. n im hoping no more outings for tis week.. i'd like to be with myself..

guess its God who wants me to get myself prepared for da interview.. he doesnt want any further distractions for me.. lol.. tats one outcome tat i made much to my loneliness.. lol... hehe hope it helps..

its jus a moody post well.. im not sure when i'll recover from tis.. haha..

My decisions.. hope its not gonna chg...

so my previous posts.. said tat da deadline of da singapore thing is till friday.. but.. a letter came.. till 30th.. so i still have time to think about it.. haha.. they are like so desperate to get me in eh..

but.. wad i found out.. they jus wan students into tat programme i guess.. because i got to know they go to yuk choy.. n other schools.. 5A's students they accept.. tats wad i heard from my fren.. but otherwise from tat sg guy.. he said they only go to sam tet n chung ling school.. which makes da scholarship so precious.. so.. whos right or whos wrong.. i chose to believe my fren..

well.. guess u all shud know my decision already.. SG is OUT... hahaa.. hope it wont come back lar.. aih...

so lucky me i got JPA interview.. my interview session is on da 3rd of April.. well.. its seriously i great chance.. n i friggin hope i get it.. den all worries will be GONEEE.. haha... but there still alot of scholarships out there i applied with no replies yet.. jus hope i get any of it.. den i wont have to worry at all..

for now.. im kinda heartbroken to think of any studies.. im soo tired... i dont wanna think anymore.. jus hope i get any offers.. i wan them.. i need them..

Arrrghhhh...

gahhhhhhhhh........ im soo.. wanna die....

i cant decide where to go.. especially to go to singapore anot..

dad strongly oppose me in going..

mum strong encourages...

i had a discussion with my tt teacher... n she opposes.. when i told mum bout it.. she was sooooo furious.. i got scolded... haiz..

damn.. im so torn in between.. i wanna die man.. i cant stand all these... sumbody guide me pls.. show me where shud i go... i need help...

HELPPPP!!

things jus dont get easy on ya rite??

da previous post tells u tat im happy n glad huh...

n guess wad.. on da same day.. tis post tells me tat im unhappy at all..

its about my further studies.. singapore.. Nanyang polytechnic.. diploma..

damn.. i've almost made up my mind tat im freaking sure im accepting da offer..
but.. my dad... strongly discourages me..

my parents quarrel non stop while i was watching lost and prison break.. i seriously cant hear wads da tele talking.. i can only read da subtitles.. they were beside me n i was in da middle..

my dad even expressed vulgar to scold my mum.. damn.. y da hell they have to quarrel till like tat..

i friggin dont like tat...

i guess its my mistake.. for not being able to make up my mind.. im easily convinced.. n discouraged as well.. so now.. im still torn in between..

wtf shud i do.. wtf... shud i go or shud i not... damn...