wads da next step??

been quite sometime since i've updated eh.. been busying with all da further studies.. n getting headache n frustration over decisions..

so SPM is over.. my high school life.. is over.. a stage of life is over.. n another is coming.. n im in between of the stages... n hell it aint easy going thru tis phase.. decisions..

if u guys know.. i've gotten a scholarship offer from a singapore polytechnic.. a diploma in digital n precision engineering.. it quite a fresh course.. so da scholarship offer.. a 3 yrs full diploma programme.. n 5 yrs of bond with singapore govenrment.. a total of 8 yrs.. i'll be jus a diploma holder.. whereas.. ppl shud be holding a degree cert looking for jobs adi.. i have a family.. in my house.. discussing tis.. encouraging.. n discouraging.. for me.. i have no idea.. i cant decide.. i dont really have a focus on wad i want.. for me.. im jus going into anything im getting offered.. like tis.. i've already set my mind in going into it.. dad is opposing.. while mum is encouraging..

dad's say: its jus a diploma qualification.. 5 yrs of work.. waste time.. no degree.. ur always lower qualification den others.. u have a good result.. y waste urself jus into diploma.. salary wont be any good..

mum's say: u have a secured job.. singapore pay shudnt be bad.. 2.5 times rate of malaysia.. u can be PR.. save around rm200k.. ( her calculation).. singapore better development..

my say: I JUS WAN A SCHOLARSHIP N DON WANNA WASTE A SINGLE CENT ON ME LIKE MY BROS..

everybody discussed.. discussed n discussed.. n in da end.. they all turn to me.. ''wad do u wan.. wad do u think.. think yourself''.. its $#$&%*(%$ how i wished there was somebody who can really convince me... wad shud i do.. im on my own.. it aint easy.. huh... i need some mind clearance..

today is da 18th.. under dad's influence.. i halted da scholarship.. today is da deadline to reply.. i didnt reply.. which shud mean im not going over to singapore.. im still doubting if i made da right choice.. my dad told me thru da phone.. to look for UNI.. get a degree.. MASTERS.. in engineering.. n i was WOOTT.. imagine da $$$ all thsoe private uni.. n da UNI hes asking.. Monash.. Curtin.. bla bla.. all prestigious uni.. n overseas.. tats gonna cost a whole lot of $$$.. he even told my mum tat local UNI aint good enuf.. da way he says.. is making me even guilty.. to spend so much $$$ while both my bros spend almost NTG.. its basically 3 brother's education expenditure is going into me.. i dont wanna be a ''bai gah zhai''... da one who spends all da money.. i wanna be da one who help in saving.. but ppl keep telling.. dont worry bout money.. most important if wad u like.. but i really have no idea.. my mindset is already onto $$$.. a scholarship will be good for me..

Currently listening to mariah carey & whitney houston's ''when you believe''
"There can be miracle WHEN YOU BELIEVE.."

hope there would be a miracle tat i get any local scholarship offers.. its a great song at tis moment.. seriously giving me hope..

till next time buddies.. i'll keep updating if i can..