things jus dont work out da way i want... dont they?

things.. jus dont work out..

its been several days since im back from japan.. well..da title says..
days havent been good to me.. everything seem to go against me.. im having kinda like da worst downside ever.. im facing all those.. no form of escapism at all.. im at home all da time.. i cant find anything else to do to get myself off... even da computer.. my only companion.. is in coma.. dead perhaps.. needs reformat i guess.. but im not ready to do it.. its gonna take lotsa work..

i dropped my player.. something went out.. paint went off.. it was a heartbreak.. n it happened cos of da computer.. perhaps myself.. but i chose to put da blame on da computer... i jus hate wad da computer is doing.. going dead whenever it wans.. n it will ask for some sort of ''cure''.. which sees me in depression.. pain.. n frust in getting it fixed.. da comp.. sounds like a master.. n it feels like im da slave.. im doing anything jus to make it fine.. n im doing nothing wrong to it.. im treating it so well.. but y does it have to go against me..

for these few days.. i feel energyless.. i slept alot.. but yet it feels tat i dont have enought rest.. is tis insomnia? i've never really look into tis word.. nvr really know how is insomnia.. but tis time.. i guess im having it..

for now.. i jus feel like getting a job.. forgetting everything at home.. having an old junk at home.. n its getting ''sick'' always.. as if its gonna die.. wad does it mean... for me to starting living without frequent usage of computer?? huh... it jus doesnt feel right.. nothing is right for me.. im in a negative curve right now... im not alright.. at all..

ivan told me.. to take charge of wad im going thru.. is it possible.. i mean.. i dont know wad to do... but... to think positive.. i know.. deep inside.. i still have some positive thinking.. its jus very mere.. too little.. tat it cant conquer my mind yet.. but it would come into my sense soemtimes.. occasionally.. its gonna give me relief.. make me alright.. but i hope.. it stays permanent always.. it tells me.. all these hardship are gonna make u stronger.. jus bear with it.. i will go thru it... its jus a period of rough n uneasy journey.. bear with it..

tis post.. feels like im jus talking to myself.. jus have it closed if u don und at all.. im jus whining.. nothing much related to anybody.. im off...